Well January has come and is now gone. The good news is that I have lost a total of 8 pounds this month and I am looking forward to February. February poses some hurdles for me though. Two wonderful days occur during this month. The Chocolate Holiday (Valentine's Day) and my anniversary (Feb. 18). I am going to request anything but chocolate for Valentine's Day and when Dave (my husband) doesn't buy me any I will be sad and will probably forget that I forbid him to buy it. However, now that I am not eating a lot of fatty foods, my skin is getting so much clearer. So there are worse things than having no chocolate. :) I had a goal to lose 8 pounds and I did it!! I did it by just calorie counting and watching portions. Sounds grueling, doesn't it? Well, it wasn't so bad. What I learned this past month is that moderation really is the key. You can have foods you love, but just not a lot of it. For instance, I have been eating chocolate but only dark chocolate (70% or more cocoa). I have been eating Dove dark chocolate and I only eat two pieces every other day. Two pieces is only 84 calories. It helps with the cravings for sweets and doesn't bust my calorie bank. Okay, I have to go off topic here for one minute...I just saw this segment on Dr. Oz about brownies that are only 88 calories per serving and very little fat and sugar. Did anyone else see Rocco DiSpirito make these brownies? The recipe is on www.doctoroz.com if anyone is interested. I will make them and report back to you. Anyway they are made with black beans, cocoa powder, espresso powder, whole wheat pastry flour, and a bit of sugar. Sounds funky, huh? But if I can have a 88 calorie brownie...I'll try it!! Okay that was my Dr. Oz plug of the day ( I love Dr. Oz). Back to moderation....so I do occaisionally still eat things I love, but that are bad for me. For instance I had Frito Pie and Olive Garden on Friday, which was my free day. I allow myself one day a week without counting calories (my anniversary will be one of those days because I really want to go to that Bonefish Grill), but I don't go crazy. I still eat small portions, but I feel like I am in control of the food instead of the food controlling me. However, today I feel like the food is controlling me. I have been starving all day. I think it's the weather. I have eaten like normal, but for some reason want to snack. So I had some pistachios (85 calories) and some salad greens with a tsp of sunflower seeds and a bit of light ranch dressing (a total of 114 calories). Just a 200 calorie snack, but I feel satisfied without the need to reach for more. Plus I drank a lot of water. Water helps tremendously, but I still have days where I feel hungry all day. I just don't succumb to the pressure. I find something to occupy my mind and keep me busy and that helps a lot too. So this month I will continue on my current eating plan and work in more exercise. I am still doing abs every day and every day I still cramp like mad, but if I ever do get in shape I will remember the pain and never go back to being out of shape, rest assured. February will be all about getting an exercise routine together. Any suggestions anyone? I am going to use that aerobic stepper even if I can't walk for days afterward!! :) Well, pray for me and wish me luck!!
Tracie
The Midweek Blues
Alright, so let me just start by saying I have not exercised at all this week. I am kind of mad at myself because I know exercising is part of the equation to losing weight. So why am I so mathematically challenged? I don't know!! Why can't I just make the committment and stick to it? I know I can start slowly. I know I can build myself up, but for some reason all I have in my head is the need to go full force ahead. I am going to walk my neighborhood tomorrow because the weather will be nicer. But here's the stupid thing (WARNING: You are about to enter my mind...a place where few have gone before), I am scared to walk in my neighborhood. Why? I have no idea. I have this overwhelming fear of being raped or mugged. Is this a true fear or just an excuse to hold me back? I know it's probably deep down just an excuse. And I have lots of them like I have no time, the kids need help with homework, I must go to WalMart for something (isn't that exercise), or I am too tired. I know that exercising will help me to have more energy and I just need to do it. The one thing I have been doing is abdominal exercises. I have been doing my crunches, laterals, and even exercising the lower abs. Let me just say this is so painful. When I am finished I have charleyhorses in my lower abdomen. I can't fully stand up for 5 minutes and the cramping is so intense. So if anyone out there is starting ab exercises and you haven't used those muscles in awhile or ever (like me)...it HURTS!! Why doesn't anyone ever tell us this? Probably because we wouldn't buy all those ab products, that's why!! But here's the thing...you can torture yourself without spending money. Remember that at 2 a.m. while sitting on the couch eating cheetos and that ab roller thing is looking really good. So on the food front...so far this week I have been really good. I am staying at or under my calorie amount and I feel this week (foodwise) is off to a good start. I made a great chicken salad with only one tablespoon of mayo. I have been eating it on multigrain wasa bread. So yummy. However, I weighed on Monday and I have gained 2 pounds. I am just hoping it was because of my monthly visitor that stopped by on Sunday. I am praying that on this coming Monday I have a lower number. If not I may be forced to walk to the scary streets of my neighborhood!! Pray for me and wish me luck!!
Tracie
Tracie
Twenty-three days and I'm still alive!
On exactly January 1st of 2011, I decided to finally get myself together and lose weight. No, I did not make a New Year's resolution because I don't believe in them. However, losing weight has always been a project of mine. I have always been...heavy (trying to use the least negative word here) due to a childhood that I had no control over. I don't blame my mother or my father for anything that happened, but I internalized every bad feeling I had. I started binging when I was 7, joined Weight Watchers at 13, hooked on laxatives and dexatrim by 16, and tried every fad diet in between. By the age of 19, I was married and found myself in a very toxic relationship. A few years after being married, I gave up on myself completely. I let negative feelings and thoughts take over my entire existence. I lived that way for many years until my son was born and gave me life. The journey back to myself has been a long one. Very scary at times and joyful at others, but it's not over yet. So, I have decided to come clean, here, in public. What do I want to accomplish? I want to be able to rant, share my successes and failures, and hopefully get some advice from people who have been where I am. I will be brutally honest with myself because honestly, I can't afford therapy. I need a way to hold myself accoutable and to get rid of all the negativity. I am so hard on myself that I when I do fail, I can't breathe for days. I give up entirely and eat everything in the kitchen that contains chocolate or is high in trans fats. Then I berate myself for days following my out of control binge. I have to take control of my life in this way, because in many ways it's the last hurdle on my journey. I have been eating to comfort myself since I was 7, so these habits are hard to break, but I know now that I am worth it. On January 1st I started trying to change my habits by following the simple rules to weight loss...eating healthy, eating the bad things in moderation, counting calories, and exercising. I downloaded a nifty calorie counting app on my iPhone and was on my way. I have logged in every day since I got the app and have faithfully counted my calories for 21 days now. Technically, I started on January 3rd, which was the first Monday of the new year. According to the app I need to consume 1610 calories a day. I have been under most days, except the one day I ate a whole sleeve of Ritz crackers while watching a movie. Did you know a whole sleeve of Ritz crackers has 500 calories? Wow. I was stunned. So no more eating in front of the television for me. What did I do? I just forgave myself, gave myself a positive pep talk, and moved on. That was a major breakthrough for me. Maybe the fact that I had no chocolate in the house helped too. Anyway, I have lost 7 pounds in 15 days. My next weigh-in is tomorrow morning. I haven't done too well this past week so I just hope to have lost one pound. I was under in calories for the week, but I have just been making bad choices. So I will just hope for the best and do better next week. My goal is to eventually lose 160 pounds. I currently weigh 305.8 pounds. I started at 313. The one thing I have not been able to do consistently is exercise and that will be my project for next week. I am going to do step aerobics if it kills me! I am determined! I can't let that $25 step I bought off of Craigslist go to waste, now can I? Wish me luck!
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